Posted on July 30, 2019
No one expects their marriage to end in divorce, however, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than 22 percent of first marriages end in divorce within five years, and 53 percent end before the 20-year mark. A divorce is never a pleasant event, however, it is possible to have a healthy breakup and separate amicably. The following steps will help you navigate your way to the healthiest resolution in this difficult time.
With overwhelming emotions of grief, anger, sadness, fear, and frustration, it is often easy to become lost within the divorce process. Make sure to be kind to yourself and take time for self-care. Ensuring you are in a good place emotionally and mentally will only help facilitate the process. Consider visiting with a therapist to deal with your emotions and help you adjust to this difficult time.
Communication may not have been healthy between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse during the marriage; however, it is imperative that you cooperate and communicate to reach the best result for everyone involved. Do not think of the divorce process as a battleground, but rather a negotiation, where everyone can benefit. Writing lists that remind you of what you need to discuss before meetings can also alleviate tension and stress. Make sure you choose times to visit with your ex-spouse where you are calm and prepared, or simply handle most matters over e-mail, where you can take time to think before you write.
If communication begins to break down, consider taking the matter to a mediator. Talking through a mediator creates a neutral environment with a neutral third party and can greatly reduce the amount of conflict between soon to be ex-spouses. Writing lists before meetings or having a set list of items to discuss can also alleviate tension and stress.
If you have children, they will likely feel anxious during this tumultuous time. However, most studies suggest that children actually adjust well within the two years following divorce. However, it is vital to keep unnecessary drama and conflict away from the children, as any ongoing parental struggles can increase a child’s risk of psychological and social problems. Having the children visit with a therapist can also help them deal with their emotions and be able to process this difficult transition.
It is possible to keep your divorce amicable. If you approach your divorce as a process, it will allow both you and your spouse to work together to resolve final issues and differences — it can be a more productive experience.
1. Focus on the Larger Picture
Make sure you look at the big picture of your life, your family, and your children.
2. Place Your Children First
Place your children’s needs first and be just as good of parents — or better — to your children as divorced parents, as you were when you were married.
3. Have Good Faith
Keep a perspective of good faith throughout the process and negotiate with integrity.
4. Maintain Respect and Dignity
Maintain an air of respect and dignity, even if you are frustrated, sad, angry, or hurt. Working from a higher ground emotionally makes every situation more amicable.
5. Decide Against Blame
Perhaps one of the most difficult, but effective, decisions you can make is to refuse to place blame on the other spouse. In the long run, this decision will create an air of peace that will foster a more amicable divorce.
Contact Betsy Fischer
Even with the most amicable divorce, you still need to ensure that the rights to your children and property are protected. If you are facing divorce in Louisiana and want to approach it in the most amicable way, but still ensure your rights are protected, we invite you to schedule a consultation with attorney Betsy A. Fischer. Call 504-780-8232 or contact the law offices in Metairie, Louisiana, by email.