Posted on November 9, 2017
The term nesting refers to a child custody arrangement during or after a divorce in which the children continue to live in the home while the parents rotate in and out depending on when they have the kids. In this situation, the kids get to stay in the family home full time allowing them to adjust to the other major changes happening in their lives. The parents may choose to live in separate areas of the home until they are “on duty,” or may choose to live in separate homes on their time off. This method was created to make things easier for the children but it’s not the right option for everyone. Is nesting something you should consider?
Nesting works best for people who can maintain respect for their ex. Problems can arise when the on-duty parent doesn’t keep the house clean or the groceries stocked. Leaving all the chores for one parent will just cause resentment and frustration. It’s also not a cheap option. In most cases, it means having to pay for three living spaces. Unless you can afford to pay for three homes, have family you can stay with, or have a large enough home to keep the off-duty parent separate from the on-duty parent, this may not be the right option for you.
Nesting provides the children with stability. They can stay in the same school and the same extracurricular activities, and they don’t have to have two sets of everything. When kids are forced to live in two different homes, their lives become constant packing and unpacking. This causes confusion and will, without doubt, lead to late night trips back to their other home because they forgot their backpack or their project that’s due tomorrow.
Nesting is a lot more work for the parents. It requires you to live in two different places causing you to go back and forth throughout the week. It can also be a challenge emotionally as it may feel like you’re invading each other’s space. It can also be a burden financially.
Nesting can be a great option for short-term adjustment while you get your divorce settled. If you think nesting would be a good option for your family, a great family attorney can help you figure out the right plan for you.